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I'm Nyaze (en-YAH-zay). Writer and producer of pixels. Father of two. Husband of the one and only, Mel... Cis het neo-liberal Asiatic Black dude living in the city of Lost Aztecs. I am 1/2 of podcast Woke With Kids. 

Dear God #3

Dear God #3

Dear God,

I need to run. 

Exercise is a form of prayer. The cells of the body cannot speak, so they speak with sweat. It’s an exhortation to action, a provocation of life. The muscles are destroyed so they might rise again. The cells divide, the lungs expand, the body enlarges to take in more life. I understand this, have felt it, am the descendant of runners. 

Running isn’t escapism. 

Running brings you further into the body. The body is not only where we live, it is the space we occupy in the universe, a projection of our intangible selves into the physical universe, idea made flesh. But when we run, we go back to our ethereal beings—our essential self of air and water. 

Form is our shackles, gravity our prison, but you have not made life to be a cage except that we might escape through velocity and faith. 

I need to run. 

Not from, but for family, greatness, for love. Everything is within us waiting to be unlocked. Running picks the lock. Suffering exits as perspiration like a pregnant sky. 

I need to run. 

Because I don’t know where I’m going. I don’t see the goal line ahead. I feel like I’m running in place. So I have to run. I have to shift physical space to shift the spiritual within. Who am I? The kid from downtown Newport News or the man from Los Angeles? Am I still a child of God or a skeptic clawing at the fossils of faith? Am I good father or just another link in a chain of self-involved fools? Who do I blame for the things I have done when I don’t even know myself? 

God, I’m asking but you’re not answering. 

I need to run. 

Common Water

Common Water

New Music / "Blood Money"

New Music / "Blood Money"